It started about a year ago when this thought popped into my head:
No one will look for me.
Since then, those six words have been quietly haunting…and terribly true. No one will search for me as an ancestor. For the most part, my husband and I are childless by choice. I can not have children of my own but adoption is expensive. If we really wanted too, I suppose we could be parents but neither of us is interested enough to make the investment. Selfish? Maybe. And while there is a small glimmer of hope that one of my siblings may have children, we are all growing older and time is running out. We are the end of a bloodline – which is terribly sad in a way. We’re good people – probably the most well-educated, most well-off Hirsch’s in the line (mostly due to the opportunities that our time has allowed). And yet, we have no one to pass it on too.
Maybe we’ll be seen as the eccentric wing of the family – the independents, the women and men who worked, focused on home and family, but chose not to have children. Maybe one of us will do something note-worthy someday (my bets are on Wendy) and history will footnote us. This is a big maybe.
So why am I doing this? I do enjoy it. Sharing my findings with family is such a rush. Properly documenting what I find is an addictive drug for my obsessive-compulsive organizing side and I guess there is probably research out there that proves psychologically I value knowing the history and back-story of my tribe. But beyond that? Isn’t most of the knowledge gained from all of this effort meant to be passed on to the next generation? Who gets the papers, the databases, the tidbits of a family? If I am the elder in the tribe that knows our history, where does this information go if there is no new, young member to carry the mantle?
As I type it occurs to me that Native Americans and other indigenous peoples have dealt with this question. People interested enough in our nation’s natural and human history have benefited from researching the Native American experience. I’ve seen plenty of random family histories gathering dust in a state or public library – gifts spelled out in the wills of folks just like me – but there is usually a politician or philanthropist somewhere in the line that warrants interest. Who is going to show interest the “Hirsch Experience”? Does it really matter? Isn’t it just a hobby?
I have no answers for this today – but I’ll be looking for writings by others along these lines…why do we do genealogical research? Maybe there is a genealogist out there who cares to comment…
I think we do it because we feel compelled to tell the stories that we find, and the thrill of each new find encourages us to seek out the next discovery.
We do it because we love history and family and want to leave something for the next generation, even if our own direct bloodlines die out.
Hi Kristen,
I enjoy your blog and i am fascinated by this topic. We have decide to post on it from time to time. You might be interested in my story at;
http://genealogygals.com/blog/?p=18
Keep blogging.
Judy
Hi Kirsten. I saw your blog and just had to put my two cents in. I have asked myself the very same questions.
I keep thinking….what am I doing this for? Nobody really cares about it but me. I have found so many interesting
things and answers to 100 year old questions. Things my parents probably pondered but never thought to ask the generation before out loud. Now both generations are gone and I have the answers!!!! I know my parents would love to know what I have found recently since they enjoyed what was found while they were here. My Mom & her Aunts and cousins started searching because I asked a few questions out loud. So now I have my Mom’s papers and some of her relatives finds. I share what I find with some distant cousins who also have picked up the trail but not MY trail.
I feel I have been drawn to do this research. Maybe it is my OCD but I feel like I know so much more about my Aunt’s, Uncles, Grandparents than when I knew them on earth. Maybe more than they cared for me to know.
Then I wonder another generation back that I carefully find
their important information and lovingly make sure it is noted…..wonder if I would have liked this person? I don’t just do our tree….I do the inlaws of distant relatives so that Their Trees are noted and kept together. It is crazy but
I feel called to do it. Someone up above wants this branch to be remembered for some reason. Maybe for a time down the line. Yesterday, while filling out my census on just us two I felt it was so lifeless. No children or parents to add to it. The children have left the nest and will be on their own census alone. Nobody will know they are part of a large family…..they are loved by their parents and extended family….they matter, are important and are making the world a better place for being here. Just like you.
So….have no answers for you just wanted you to know I have the same questions and one more….I wonder if I would have been a good grandparent. Oh well…..
Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Toast one for me.
[...] March 16, 2010 by kamckinney Yesterday, I had the lucky opportunity to hear Ed Ayers, the president of the University of Richmond, speak about technology and social media and how he is using these tools to further the academic content offered to the world on the web. It was one of his patented talks that entertain, enliven, and inspire. I would also like to add surprise – because low and behold he answered my “What’s it all for?” question. [...]
Even if you had children, there’s no guarantee they’d be interested in this stuff. I have two very young children, and I hope they’ll want to learn about their history someday…but I do this for me. It helps me understand why my family is the way it is, and it also gives me a great deal of perspective. History helps me recognize that my problems aren’t particularly unique, and aren’t really all that bad in the grand scheme of things.
One of my branches has a large number of people who either never married, or married but never had children. They’re actually the most interesting members of my family. Because I can’t easily define them as “parents of so-and-so,” I’m forced to define them in other ways, which makes me work harder at finding out who they were and what they did. It’s cool.